The Institutional Jester

Monday, September 24, 2007

Grandkids are Revenge on our Children

Unlike most of my generation, I decided to be honest with my son with how it all works. Everytime our kids give us trouble, it adds points to their total; and when they start having kids, we get to start working those points off. I've gotten pretty graphic with my son.

"When your kids are about 3, I'll take them to Toy R Us and tell them:"
'What, your parents don't bring you here every week? Why it's federal law that they do so; they can get into a lot of trouble if they don't. You need to cry until they do. And these doors, they're magical. The word 'No' loses all meaning when entering this building.'
"Then I'll spend about $300 on them, load them up with about 5 pounds of candy, let them eat about 2 pounds of it just before I bring them back to you. That'll be good for about 50 points off your total, out of the 1,863 you now have."

My kid says when he gets married, he'll move and not leave a forwarding address. He'll try to qualify for the Grandparent Protection Program. I'll find him, though; got to work off all his points before I die.

Points; it's all about the points.


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